Anatolia (Fake Europe)
On the basis of Italica and Thessalonia’s historical success at empire-building, the entire continent of Anatolia likes to give itself airs. Most of it was still tribal and contentious at the time, and it continues much in the same vein, just with larger tribes and fancy uniforms. Nevertheless, the most recent empire craze and resultant damages are a result of Anatolia’s attempt to ‘civilize’ the world. They had had only patchy success and the internal fighting continues unabated.
Tin Soldier’s version of Guns, Germs and Steel would be called Gods, Dogs and Magic. Anatolia won the lottery in easily-domesticated species, resulting in fewer early attempts at magic-enabled terraforming and less damage to their ecosystems. Dogs provided a convenient reservoir of apex predator DNA in places where the gray wolf was at the top of the food chain, so the occasional instances of mass predator removal could be repaired relatively easily. Advances in metallurgy were driven by a less magically-adept society, later providing a solid technological basis for automated magic. Automation vs. education in magic-use had wide-ranging consequences in attempts to colonize the New World in particular. It is uncertain which would have won if the rampant spread of a New World disease hadn’t prematurely ended the fight.
Anatolia’s attitude towards magic is still rather conservative, not without reason. They refuse to allow the import of magically-modified organisms (MMOs), which has quite an impact on international trade. Most of what they produce is acceptable worldwide, but cultures that have been creating MMOs for thousands of years have to bend over backwards to meet the restrictions. Only certified Heritage Species are allowed, but these are defined more by tradition than sense. The aurochs, for example, is allowable based on its appearance in the fossil record and the fact that nobody can prove it was ever wished back from extinction. The mammoth is not, because its revival has been well-documented. The moose is discouraged because it is obviously another one of those modified Iroquiose deer, and nobody can prove it isn’t.
Altogether, Anatolia was born on third base and thinks they hit a triple. They also enjoy awarding themselves prizes at the expense of others.
Marsellia (Fake France)
Marsellia is a mouse that roars. The Empire Game is difficult when the subjugated natives have equal access to reality-warping power, and Marsellia came on a little too strong to do well. For the moment they must content themselves with their contiguous territory and one-and-a-half islands in the Fake Carribean.
Marsellia is from Marcella, meaning little and warlike, and they have a history of starting shit. The most recent Prokovian Conflict sprang from a Marselline act of terrorism, with encouragement from Aver-Abenland, who were damn sick of those Prokovian train tracks cutting through their territory. The rest of Anatolia are a bit sick of their instigations, which may explain the sudden dissolution of the Third Coalition and Marsellia’s abandonment to Prokovian forces.
Currently, they are subject to Prokovia’s rule, but with a high degree of autonomy. Prokovia is just thrilled to have a foothold on the east coast with warm water seaports, and to piggyback off of Marsellia’s outstanding trade agreements with the surrounding area. Marsellia itself remains irritable and unruly, with frequent riots and protests, but no concrete revolution yet. There is a faction (and their former emperor and current PM may be a part of it), that wishes to embrace its new ‘alliance’ with Prokovia, join military forces and take over the world.
The Marselline PM, formerly the Emperor, is Felix Adelbert, known as ‘Bertie.’ He is in his mid twenties. He was eighteen when he reluctantly took charge of the Prokovian Conflict, which was begun nearly a decade earlier by his father. The dissolution of the Third Coalition and the surrender occurred soon after, spurred on by the assassination of the leader of the dissident movement and former PM, Diane Desdoux.
Socially, Marsellia is quite liberal, especially in comparison to their new boss. They have been allowed to continue their degenerate ways for now. Sex is free, and available for sale with permit. Women are educated and allowed to work outside the home. Civil unions provide an almost-marriage for all sorts of associations. Immigrants and magic-users are tolerated, and in some cases even embraced. Privately-owned workhouses, doss houses, soup kitchens, clinics and hospitals receive government funding to provide free and low cost services to the poor and otherwise impaired.
The Arlo River runs approximately north/south through the country. There is a centrally-located mountain range which helps feed it with runoff. A large delta system with many bayous conducts the Arlo to the sea in the south, near Iliodario.
San Rosille (See In San Rosille…) is the capital, located on the eastern coast. It is surrounded by a medieval-style wall and notoriously difficult to invade, which makes it a target for really long and destructive campaigns. It has fallen again and again, but it always gets back up, and the rest of the country follows. The getting-up process has been going on for a little less than a decade after the latest affront and the city (and country as a whole) still has a limp.
Ansalem is Marsellia’s educational center, located at the west side of the country past the mountains near the Gund border. It is considered extra liberal, and weird and radical. South Hestia is located just above the Arlo River delta. It is dotted with the estates of wealthy people, and workers who don’t own the property they tend. The poor folk down there speak a dialect that might look an awful lot like French to you.
Anglais is the official language. If rendered faithfully it would look like an incomprehensible mashup of French and English, so we don’t do that. Unadulterated French survives as a dialect in the South, and is called Low Southern — or just ‘Southern’ if we’ve detected someone nearby with an accent and we do not wish to offend. The accent is parsed similarly to the Southern accent in the USA, and ranges in thickness from Sexy John Grisham Protagonist to Hee-Haw Cast Member. Children in rich families often pick up Low Southern from spending a lot of time at their estates, but they are discouraged from speaking it in polite society. Thus, a person at the Sexy John Grisham Protagonist end of the spectrum who switches to Low Southern is talking down to you or being crude, while a Hee-Haw Cast Member is just ignorant or excitable. “My gods” = OMG. “Mes dieux” = OMFG or ZOMG. Accents and dialect-switching are also used as intensifiers by those who did not come by them naturally. This is tolerated with sighs and eye-rolling by real Southerners.
Prokovia (Fake Russia)
They are the backward cousin that nobody wants to invite to the party, doing their level best to repudiate an isolationist past and become a performer on the world stage. They are conservative, oppressive and Czarist. The current Czar is quite old, and his only child, a daughter, is picking up most of the political slack. She is in her early forties and has yet to marry, despite the desire for a male ruler and an heir. It is beginning to look as if there will be no choice but to pass the country on to her alone, which is her intent. The Marselline PM is a frequent visitor of hers. There is suspicion that he is petitioning her for a marriage. This would cement Prokovia’s sovereignty over Marsellia and legitimize her power grab, but Bertie would become the ‘real’ Czar and it is doubtful she trusts him enough to allow such a thing. Whatever his intentions, it behooves him to appear to her as meek, solicitous and unassuming as possible.
The Veaceslav War of 1344-1346 was instigated by Prokovia, a blatant grab for warm water seaports in the East and access to Roma, Marsellia and Iliodario overland for trade. Prokovia lost territory which had been theirs for a hundred years, but they were granted overland access to Aver-Abenland, Roma and Marsellia via a corridor of neutral territory which was just wide enough to allow for the train tracks. These tracks mostly followed the international borders, but it was more expedient to cut a corner of Aver-Abenland on the way to Roma.
That expedient corner resulted in over a decade of warfare ranging all over Anatolia and into Farsia and Ifrana. Anatolia seems to have settled on calling it the Prokovian Conflict, though this time Marsellia (or possibly Aver-Abenland) instigated it. Back when they thought the Third Coalition was going to win, they called it the Great Undertaking. Some people like to call it the Cut-Corner War, like the Cut-Flag Revolt.
There are still regular Prokovian incursions into Xin. The ownership of the territory between Xin and Prokovia to the north has been disputed ever since Xin united. The people living there would prefer to be left alone. Occasional attempts at separation and independence are crushed from both sides.
Prokovia’s tendency to underhanded expansionism may be related to the Silk Sea, a thousand-year-old magical environmental disaster which ate up an entire mountain range. Records indicate the Ankora and Xinese Empires decided to ‘let the ocean in’ to facilitate the silk trade, partly in response to Zanzamin’s blockades. The tribal societies who were living in the area were not involved in this decision. The resultant inland sea is Prokovian territory, but the Silk Strait, leading to Ifrana and the open ocean, is not. Farsia and Xin denied Prokovia any access, despite the flooding which killed hundreds of thousands of their ancestors and changed their environment forever. Prokovia is said to have been born angry as a result.
Iliodario (Fake Spain/Portugal)
(Again, not that I have anything against Portugal! This is a simplified map for my simple mind!)
Marsellia and Iliodario trade goods, immigrant populations, tourists, names and language, however relations are much less cordial since the Prokovian Conflict. Marsellia attempted a blockade and sanctions against neutral Iliodario, as they were still engaging in trade with Prokovia. Postwar trade agreements are nearly nonexistent, with heavy tariffs, and the Marselline economy is suffering. Iliodario has better relations with the rest of Anatolia and territories shared with the Aztlan Union and Ifrana; they are getting by.
Iliodario made just as bad a showing in the early years of Anatolia’s attempts to empire-build, but they were the hardest hit by the disease anathema from the New World and they smartened up fast. They pioneered the soft-colonial improvement-based alliance: cultivating friendships with underdogs in local politics, adding value to land in return for a share of the resources, increasing their foothold under a guise of fairness and backing off whenever they put a foot wrong. They are still happily assisting the Aztlan Union in silver mining and supplying various islands with their robust shipping fleet. There has been a lot of immigration and emigration, cultural and technological exchange, and erosion of multiple languages. Iliodarian is mostly intact, but many indigenous people are developing creoles and pidgins and a love of tapas. Some Iliodarians pine for a little less interdependence and a little more purity, but the financial benefits to a soft empire are too good to pass up.
Iliodario’s international relations function a bit like petting a cat, or multiple cats. They are reluctant to make any sudden moves in case they get bitten.
Marsellia has gleefully stolen the empanada as a delicious alternative to Elbany’s disgusting ‘meat pies.’ Their relationship with Iliodario may be in constant flux, but they’re still better than those damned Elbans.
Iliodario is still not sure about this whole ‘tortilla’ thing. Azteca beef is considered very good, however, as is tequila and agave syrup.
Elbany (Fake England/UK)
Where the Beatles come from! Due to some shenanigans during the in-universe equivalent of the Norman Conquest, Elbany, its subsidiaries, and Marsellia share a language: Anglais. You will also note that one side or the other got sick of invading across the channel and created a land bridge, which Elbany controls at the moment. Tuatha (Fake Ireland) seems to have been connected similarly in prehistory. There have been occasional nationalist attempts to split them off again, but Tuatha is smaller and has not been able to maintain a channel with Elbany’s constant, maddening interference.
Elbany and Marsellia had a history of taking the piss out of each other through fair means and foul and they currently have a friendly animosity with frequent immigration and trade. Marsellia and, indeed, the entire continent maintain an embargo on Elban produce and livestock. There was a recent disagreement with Tuatha over a potato blight, and Tuatha decided to magically-engineer its own solution. The Sárprátí or ‘Super Potato’ which resulted was open-sourced to the Tuathan Separatist Movement, further modified, and hurled in the general direction of the filthy Elbans. The resultant strangler vines are creeping their way across the land, making farming an expensive and complicated process in the affected areas. Sheep and goats are able to eat them, but they sicken pigs and cattle. Attempts at countermagic are ongoing, but in the meantime any exports from Elbany to the rest of Anatolia will be taxed and disinfected with extreme prejudice. Marsellia thinks this is hilarious.
The Elban Invasion of the 1340’s was a musical one, and had great effect on Marselline culture, but there is a constant cultural osmosis with Elbany and the ILV, containing occasional large chunks like that.
A postwar Marselline/Elban alliance based on mutual trade deficits is attractive, but hampered by their history, bad attitudes, and the aforementioned potato. The result is that while Marsellia might like to increase trade and carve a chunk out of Elbany’s deteriorating economy, they can’t afford an environmental disaster right now. And when the environmental disaster is under control, Elbany will pursue alliances with countries it likes better, such as Gundaland or Roma.
Gundaland (Fake Germany)
(I’m sorry to all the Low Countries. I’m sure you’re in Gundaland somewhere, unless you are, in fact, a lake. But a very nice lake!)
Gundaland got a comparatively late start on colonizing. There were still some atrocities, but fewer, and often in tandem with or against other countries who established a presence first. The Gund reputation for brutality and expansionism is mostly confined to Anatolia. In Anatolia they are one puffed up cat among a bunch of other puffed up cats. Fights are easy to begin, alliances difficult to maintain. Elsewhere, they are those pudgy people who wear ‘hosen’ and eat extremely heavy meats.
There are traces of Gundaland’s involvement in the New World. Immigrant populations remain in the North and the South. Oompah music is appreciated in the AU, the ILV prefers Gund beer, and both enjoy weighty sausages in various culinary contexts. In Ifrana, Gundaland stuck their nose into a war between the Natal Empire, Marsellia and Elbany, eventually becoming the decisive force for a Natal victory. It is said Emperor Shaka embraced Gund General Botha with a smile, shook his hand, and whispered in his ear that he had forty-eight hours to gather his troops and get the hell out. He did. On that basis, the Gund relationship with Natalia remains cordial.
‘Please leave,’ seems to be the most common reaction to Gund interference, with more or less violence depending on context. Their greatest success on the world stage seems to be a continued presence in Gunda-Priya. Their most costly failure is their continued attempt to push Marsellia’s border further east.
Aver-Abenland (Fake Hungary-Austria)
Aver-Abenland are smallish, relatively provincial, and tolerated but not allowed to eat at the adult table. They have a lot of forests and mountains, superstitious peasants, artists, and totally impractical castles. Gundaland would love to visit, but they wouldn’t want to live there. Piastana would just like them to quit pretending they’re another country, let alone a marriage of two.
It is possible that Aver-Abenland started the Prokovian Conflict of 1359-1371. Certainly they were not thrilled with having to navigate new checkpoints at the train tracks to access their own damn territory, which Piastana had somehow taken yet another chunk of during the Veaceslav War.
Marsellia maintains that they were asked to blow up the tracks, to cement a proposed alliance against Prokovia. Aver-Abenland maintains that they have no idea what Marsellia is talking about. In any case, their alliance with Marsellia was shaky from the beginning, and while they were the first to join the First Coalition of Nations, they were also the first to leave it, followed in short order by Gundaland.
Piastana (Fake Poland)
Piastana has been pretty darn aggressive and managed to absorb most of Western Anatolia, but sharing a border with Prokovia and Gundaland will do that to a country. Piastana’s borders have been redrawn so many times, it is basically impossible for a smaller country to carve out any territory in the area. If Prokovia and Gundland don’t eat it, Piastana will.
The empire-building fad passed Piastana by. They had enough trouble at home.
Piastana’s government is an enthusiastic hereditary monarchy, with plenty of heirs and spares who are always ready for the next fight. Its people are jaded, confused, and often hungry. Most of the borderlands have disengaged politically and do not bother to vote even when Gundaland’s parliamentary democracy is in charge of them. Voting doesn’t make as much of a difference as the constant fighting.
Piastana is considered rural and backward — just not as backward as Prokovia — with a few large cities worth visiting for their arts and architecture. They hosted the Novikov Ballet in Skalka for a few years, but now Prokovia has them again. Their forests are said to be haunted.
The Vasa Union (Fake Nordic Countries)
Tollakland (Fake Finland) is one of the countries in the union. They have excellent public health and give new parents baby supplies and a nice safe box suitable for an infant to sleep in. Otherwise, it is very cold up there, they eat a lot of pickled fish, and when their explorers found Vinlandia they told everyone. This kickstarted a brutal attempt at conquering and colonization that killed millions of people, but it seems to have turned out okay. They’re just so neat and innocuous, it’s hard to stay mad.
The Vasa Union participated on both sides of the Prokovian conflict and helped precipitate Marsellia’s defeat by suddenly withdrawing from the Third Coalition and declaring themselves neutral.
Roma (Fake Italy/Sicily)
Italica had quite an empire going for it in its day. Roma is what remains, and as a country it seems fairly laid-back, satisfied, and full of pasta. Their scenery is gorgeous, with volcanic soil which might be even better than Marsellia’s for farming and wine-making, and their gelato is what all ice cream aspires to be. Mount Osca, the volcano itself, seems to have disappeared at the height of Italica’s empire days. There is an underwater volcano off the coast of Thessalonia which is still kicking up more islands; historians suspect Mount Osca wasn’t behaving itself and somebody had it removed.
What is certain is that in the latter years of his reign, Italica’s Emperor Habitua issued a series of controversial social reforms which included declaring war on the sea. This may have been political subterfuge, an odd sense of humor, or insanity. Regardless, it was quite a success, and most of the islands in the area were united with Italica’s landmass, adding thousands of acres of fertile farmland, most of which still belong to Roma.
Their cars are quite expensive, but difficult to maintain.
Thessalonia (Fake Greece/Crete)
(Honestly, when you can ask a god to redesign your continent, it is very tempting to either add a bit of land or lop it off. I’m simplifying because I’m lazy, but it just makes logical sense.)
Thessalonia also had quite an empire, reclaimed some land from the sea, and made other alterations — many of which were never recorded and are only theorized by frustrated geologists who can’t figure any other reason the rocks don’t make sense. Italica cribbed a lot of their gods and culture, but Thessalonia did it first. Or possibly an island near Thessalonia did it first, and the Thessalonian Empire ate them and gained their powers. The Kemet Empire in Ifrana and the Middle West predates them, and Thessalonia benefitted from the power vacuum that occurred during its collapse and the rise of the Ankora Empire from its ashes.
Forensic mathematicians are uncertain whether Thessalonia made pi equal to three first, or if it happened somewhere in the young Ankora Empire. Either way, there are multiple ancient buildings in Farsia, Thessalonia and Roma (of retrofitted Thessalonian design) where pi is still three. There seems to have been a bit of a disagreement between mathematicians at the time and evidence of multiple conversions of pi, including a nausea-inducing ruined forum where pi has been forced to equal four. Pi and other irrational numbers still require occasional repair, but none of these rogue mathematicians has ever managed to alter reality enough to hide the fact that pi really shouldn’t equal three.
Unless it should and someone damaged it irreparably.
Atria (Fake Asia)
Atria’s civilizations were ancient and vast, but their empire days have passed. There is somewhat less oppression in the aftermath, but the uneven distribution of resources is exacerbated by mutual distrust, Xin’s constant attempts to get the band back together, and Anatolia’s hostility. Their long history and isolationism gives them a mysterious and exotic reputation. It is said that Aria has forgotten more than Anatolia will ever learn. Anatolia consoles itself that most of this knowledge is about heathen gods and magic that should not be used, with a knowing nod towards the poorer areas.
The acceptance of magic-use varies across the continent, but historically it has been quite popular. The drawbacks are manifest, and one need only point to the mountain range drowned beneath the Silk Sea as a reminder that terraforming experiments can go to hell fast.
Atria is an ancient peddler dragging a sackful of history — these things are useful but they sure do make it hard to move. Even what’s new there is old, including Farsia’s reputation for ingenuity, which dates back to the Kemet Empire’s days.
Wakoku (Fake Japan)
Wakoku is way bigger than real Japan, including the land mass of both Koreas, a big chunk of China, and lots of reclaimed ocean. The part of it that is visible from fake China (Xin) is still small, hence ‘Wakoku’ from ‘wo’ designating smallness. There is evidence of a (pre?)historic land bridge which was erased and forgotten, perhaps erased from maps and forcibly forgotten by magic, in response to wars on the mainland. Crackpot theories about merpeople raising an empire or space aliens creating one are also quite popular, but the idea of a land bridge just seems more plausible.
Wakoku made good use of the time before its rediscovery (or its discovery, if they really were merpeople), uniting its islands and shoring up defenses and technology. Contact with Xin was intermittent during this time, and concealed or disavowed as a matter of policy. There was a general idea of some people on those little islands out there, but Xin was quite vexed when a boatload of Wakokuhito ‘tourists’ landed on its shores and decided to reopen international relations, ostensibly on a whim. The real reason was more to do with internal politics, but “We were sailing, got a bit off course and decided to have lunch” offers a lot better cover than “We are consciously subverting several hundred years of magically-enabled isolationist policy because we believe this is the best way forward, and we’d like not to be killed for it, please.” The action resulted in major political upheavals, but Wakoku handled itself well and ultimately rejected grabbing more land from the West. A little extra distance and territory made it easier to form friendly, trade-based alliances, and their grasp of magic and technology has kept them independent at low cost.
Internationally, Wakoku maintains the guise of its original ‘tourist’ explorers — just here to have lunch (coincidentally with tradable goods in the cargo hold) and go home. At home, there are still traces of the ruthless and dictatorial government required to create and then hide an empire for centuries, but these manifest mostly in a desire for top-down solutions and cultural superiority — with some oppression of minorities on the side. They may only be here as tourists, but that’s because your silly country has nothing of real value. It’s cute, though.
Wakoku has a friendly (if rather patronizing on both sides) relationship with Marsellia, having gifted them some cherry trees both before and after the Prokovian Conflict. Trade relations and immigration remain friendly despite Marsellia’s nominal new management, but there is suspicion and a wait-and-see attitude. If Prokovian interference becomes too great, it will be simple for Wakoku to dissolve most of its agreements with little more than a wave and “It’s been fun, kid.”
Famously, a political cartoonist in Wakoku depicted Marsellia as a precocious little girl with a bow and arrows. Marsellia disregarded the insulting implications and adopted Marsellia-chan (now known as Li’l Marsellia) as a mascot. In response to Marsellia-chan’s popularity, Wakoku has developed a fondness for portraying nations as cute little girls, but none of them are as popular or consistent as the original.
Wakokuhito immigrants are well-received in Marsellia and considered to have ‘Marselline souls,’ although their cuisine is still regarded with distaste. Marselline immigrants in Wakoku are accepted more at the level of exotic birds who can be taught a little language and who are kept on the basis of their ability to produce delicious breads and sauces. Disrespect is inherent on both sides of this relationship, but because it so often goes misunderstood or unremarked, it is difficult to tell who is putting who on.
Priyat (Fake India)
Priyakadesh is closer to how the people living there call their country, after a popular creator deity. It survives in Alemanian but it has become mangled in Anglais. Multiple attempts at colonization from multiple wannabe empires certainly didn’t help. Gundaland finally displayed a deft enough touch, managing to maintain a partnership in several small islands and two large ones between Priyat and Chozin.
It is said that Niramata Priya so loved the world that she thought there ought to be people in it. The central river valley is indeed stunning, but Priya should’ve considered the political implications. Her country is subject to constant conflicting pressures, natural disasters and unnatural ones. Being right next door to Farsia and their endless tinkering doesn’t help, and Anatolia isn’t far enough away to be comfortable. Priyat avoided the Calixtus slave trade, but saw many damaging wars and ‘improvements’ which went wildly wrong. Priya did not seem to find any problem with the mosquito, but her people did. Early attempts at terraforming in Priyat (including the nearby Silk Strait) were inexact and the consequences are still being dealt with.
Priya’s country is still beautiful in many places, but it could use a little less industrialization and a little more attention to detail. Unfortunately, the industrialization is more profitable. The Gunda-Priya islands are doing better, possibly because Gundaland knows if their friends start feeling too exploited there will be another war. The tiger in its original form exists only on these islands; Gunda-Priya is at pains to prevent the locust-like vegetarian variety on the mainland from interbreeding with their population. The domesticated elephants are smaller, less of a threat to the gene pool, and better accepted.
There is a large Priyati immigrant population in San Rosille, although in Marsellia in general they are still very much a minority. Marsellia is fond of curry but can be a little less so of obvious foreigners in their midst. Most individuals darker than a paper bag are assumed to be Priyati in heritage and “not from here,” even if they’re second or third generation. ‘Preet’ is an ethnic slur, but still very much accepted in colloquial speech. Priyati culture is much more conservative than Marsellia’s and some vestiges of this remain in the immigrant population. Such practices as children living with their parents well into adulthood and arranged marriage are held in general Marselline disdain.
Yes, you can get curry schnitzel in Gundaland and Gunda-Priya. Priyat prefers curry chicken sausage buns.
Xin (Fake China)
Originally a loose association of tribes, and then independent states, Xin reached the height of its empire days at the same time as the Ankora Empire in the Middle West, spurred by the silk trade and alliances formed in response to invaders from the north. Xin and Ankora divided much of the West between them, leaving little room for the northern peoples who would eventually become Prokovia. The Silk Strait (and the resultant Silk Sea) was a joint construction project. Incredible environmental and human damage resulted, but Xin and Ankora considered it a huge economic success.
When the Ankora Empire fragmented following the Zanzamin Rebellion, Xin lost a powerful ally and a stabilizing force. Their territory receded and a new empire began piecing itself together on their northern border. Shortly thereafter, an invisible empire which had apparently existed for centuries in the west made itself known. Xin did not react well to its losses, engaging in a series of brutal wars which led to more rebellions, wars, losses and a peasant revolt which killed millions, including most of the aristocracy. Modern day Xin is still in a state of constant political turmoil, with battles over disputed territory in the north a source of daily atrocities and a drain on their resources.
Marsellia is wary of Xin’s expansionism (or desire to reclaim its former territory, depending on point of view). They consider the Xinese a pushy, grabby people who are fleeing their messed up homeland in huge numbers to take up all the low-income piecemeal work elsewhere — and yet somehow there are always more of them. Since the last wave of Xinese immigration, spurred by a famine, occurred before the Veaceslav War, this old hostility has become dusty and disused. Marsellia’s current situation has made it less attractive for both immigration and trade, and Xin is cultivating its relationship with the ILV at the moment instead.
The Xinese diaspora in Marsellia is fairly well assimilated, dispersed and accepted, although they will usually be taken for Wakokuhito and dealt with kindly on that basis. Xinese food — brought over by immigrants who were regulated, derided and poor — has become a cultural touchstone of colored society in Marsellia and the ILV. Xinese workers were frequently relegated to ghettos, which put them in the same areas as colored people, and a friendship born of mutual sympathy developed. Also, Xinese cuisine is delicious and frequently cheap.
Chozin (Fake French Indo-China)
Marsellia really screwed up here. Southwest Atria became a bit of a political mess after the decline of the Xinese Empire, subject to a lot of messy wars, revolutions, and redrawing of borders. In the throes of empire fever and expanding in all directions at once, Marsellia decided they wanted a piece of that! They bought themselves seventy-five years of constant conflict, intermittent goods and services, and a bloody revolt which unified Chozin as an independent democracy.
Chozin’s unification is tenuous, with rampant poverty, damage, and almost as many distinct languages as Priyat in much less territory. But they are all extremely sure that Marsellia can fuck off forever. They retain bread, sauces, and semolina pasta (which Roma adapted from Xin in the first place and Marsellia stole from Roma). Immigration to Marsellia from Chozin is almost nonexistent. The few who live there are either extremely patriotic and consider the Marselline occupation better than what Chozin has now, or the extremely irritable family members of the patriotic ones, who just wanted to live somewhere stable and help out — even if that means being surrounded by the fucking Marselline imperialists.
Farsia (The Fake Ottoman/Persian Empire)
Farsia is what remains of the Ankora Empire, which rose from the ashes of the Kemet Empire in antiquity. It encompases much of the Middle West and only a token area of Ifrana. They maintain a cordial (if sometimes difficult) relationship with Kemetis, but nearby Zanzamin is despised — and the feeling is mutual. The Zanzamin Rebellion took place just over a thousand years ago, but it kickstarted Ankora’s collapse and they will never regain their standing in the West versus Prokovia, Priyat and Xin.
Not that they necessarily want it. Farsia is much more peaceful and easy to maintain these days. Its government is free to participate in the constant infighting on both sides of the continent, or to abstain and declare itself neutral. Farsia has grown very wealthy, bustling and technological. They have a centuries’ old reputation for magical brilliance, rooted in advances made by ancient Kemetians, and toys and appliances of Farsian make are considered the gold standard. Their machinery is oil-based, owing to a large natural supply, so it is compatible across continents and easily exported. Kemetis itself has backed away from its magical history and prefers to buy Farsian tech, keeping competition low and prosperity high.
Immigration to Marsellia from Farsia is limited, and often highly-skilled in magical/medical applications.
Ifrana (Fake Africa)
Real Africa, I apologize. Your continent is huge. I can’t do it justice from a story set in a Fake French slum. I may eventually unpack more of the history, and I have the country/kingdom names and an idea of where they are for when I do that. Consider my inability to rattle a skewed Sub-Saharan African history off the top of my head an indictment of an education system that obsessively covers Ancient Egypt and little else. For right now, this entry is going to be lite, and you will never have as much land as you should. I gave you Sumatra, the in-universe Walt Disney company, and enough syllables so that Toto can still bless the rains down in you. That’s the best I can do.
In this universe, the Scramble for Fake Africa was touched off by the discovery of the New World, and subsequent Calixtus slave trade — first by colonists looking for slaves and then by colonists insisting they were there to stop the slave trade and civilize the savages. Some of these colonizers were even warring factions claiming territory under the same nation’s flag, both for and against human bondage at the same time. This godawful mess turned up the heat on conflicts between tribes, kingdoms and regions that had been ongoing for centuries, and the whole continent boiled over. Cleanup is still in progress. (Marsellia behaved like a total idiot, lost all its territory and burned all its bridges. Relations with Ifrana are cold at best.)
Altogether, Ifrana has had less damage from slavery and colonization and more from magic-use, including magic-assisted wars and rebellions resulting from the slavery and colonization. Terraforming, however, racks up the highest death toll. Human civilization got started in Ifrana, and so did human interaction with the Invisibles, and use of magic. There were no training wheels and no do-overs. Huge, rapid changes to the environment had huge, rapid consequences — for example, an instant desert in the middle of the continent that broke up an early, peaceful alliance between kingdoms.
Keystone species were knocked out and modified before anyone had any idea what a ‘keystone species’ was. Wolves do not have much natural presence, and a pet lion or hyena has already undergone significant magical modification — should you modify it more or try to wish back the original? Either option is subject to spectacular failures. By the time someone realizes they need to replace a species, its niche or habitat has often been damaged irreparably; it staggers along for a few years and then dies again, requiring more intervention with uncertain consequences.
All this is rationalization to create a Red Queen situation where, despite the revolutions coming fast and easy, Fake Everywhere still looks a little like Real Here. Ifrana didn’t touch off its own Age of Exploration and find the New World before Anatolia because Anatolia wasn’t busy managing a series of famines caused by the goddamn vegetarian lion herds. (Jared’s Question: “Why don’t you guys have as much cargo as us?” Yali’s Answer: “We were a little distracted by the magically modified ex-carnivores eating their way across the landscape, my man!”)
Ifrana — as well as Suidas, and the Aztecas and Iroquois — have deemed Anatolia’s ban on magically modified organisms prejudicial and damaging to trade. Precious little has NOT been magically modified in these places. There is a bit of a black market in the desirable items they have developed, such as Domestic Mini-Leopards and Dry Land Rice (both patented), but the regulations remain effective.
Kemetis
This is the place where the Kemet Empire began, and now all that remains of it. Its people rebuilt following an environmental disaster perpetuated by a preexisting coalition of kingdoms which had united much of the continent. It is uncertain what they were trying to accomplish (perhaps an early attempt at creating a passage like the Silk Strait, or just another war with the mosquito), but the desertification of the fertile Gobera Plain occurred almost literally overnight, fragmenting the kingdoms and their trade routes. The North had a lovely river valley to mitigate the damage and resolved its political issues relatively quickly, while the South fell into a period of warring kingdoms and nomadic tribal societies.
The Kemet Empire expanded to the North and East and left most of the South alone, surviving through the reigns of multiple Sub-Goberan rulers and some quite prosperous (if smaller) kingdoms and alliances. This all changed when the previously-unrecorded solar deity Itn somehow conveyed a method for reclaiming the desert to the Pharaoh Afu-Mose IV. Afu-Mose renamed himself Itn-Afu I and started a new religion in gratitude. He managed about a decade of prosperity before the entire rest of the continent and the Thessalonian Empire realized what was going on up there and screamed, in unison, “LAND?!?”
It is suspected that ‘Itn’ may have been the Invisible now called Baron Yowie, but this cannot be proven.
In any case, Itn-Afu was quietly assassinated, his religion was dismantled, and his existence was scrubbed from history as much as possible. His successor took the name Afu-Mose IV and, with the help of an alchemist/priest whose circumstances are lost to history, began a campaign of putting the desert back. This was so successful that no subsequent magic-user has been able to replicate Itn-Afu’s triumph/mistake. The historical revision also held up until the discovery of Afu-Mose IV (II)’s tomb in the 1350’s — previous historians having assumed that for some iconographic reason, after the whole desert thing, every contemporary artist decided to start depicting the original shorter and with breasts.
The Kemet Empire never recovered and Thessalonia essentially bought Kemetis for funsies a couple centuries later, holding it until the collapse of their own empire.
Horror movies and literature maintain that Kemetis is infested with living mummies who curse people, but that only happened that one time in the 40’s. The High Priestess Meresankh of the Temple of the Scarab Dawn was discovered masquerading as Representative Azra Sharif when, after a short career, her arm fell off at the Council of Ifran Nations in 1347, causing sand and beetles to pour out of the injury. She and her entourage were re-killed via divine intervention and sustained chanting. The Kemeti PM has apologized profusely and normal relations with the archeological community have resumed. No successful experiments in literal immortality have been detected since.
Postcards and travel posters always omit the fast food restaurants which have sprung up near Kemetis’s historic pyramids. A bawdy music hall song composed by an Elban performer shortly after the discovery of the tomb, ‘Afu-Mose the Fourth, the Twoth’, is still quite popular in Elbany and Marsellia.
Zanzamin (Fake Tanzania/Zanzibar)
(This is where Sumatra’s landmass went, like Fake Korea made a landwich with Fake Japan)
Zanzamin was the epicenter of a brutal pre-colonial slave trade with the Ankora Empire. Crimes against humanity such as physical and mental alterations to prevent escape were employed and perfected. They had about a hundred very profitable years and it is said they roofed their buildings in real gold. (‘About a hundred years’ is my soft limit for brutal oppression before somebody whips out the magic and blows it up. It’s also about as long as the Calixtus slave trade went on, if you only count chattel slavery and not the indentured servitude and sharecropping which continues into the present day.)
Two slaves, Ikram (black) and Fadi (colored) of Tanga, had the honor of blowing up Zanzamin’s human-resources-based economy. Using magic, they escaped their master’s house one night and freed as many others as they could, acquiring conventional weapons and setting fires as they went. They and their followers hid in the caves on the beach and returned the following night, moving southwards and eventually gathering an army. The distribution of colored slaves throughout the area — who, once freed, were extremely pissed off and able to call gods — was instrumental to their continued success.
The Zanzamin Rebellion lasted five destructive years and was ended by Fadi’s death, which the colored troops took as a sign to stop fighting and go home, or make new homes as needed. Ikram allowed them to do so without protest and disappeared from history shortly thereafter himself, no longer wishing to fight without his friend. Queen Kefilwe withdrew her claims to territory on the mainland to the north and south with his blessing, and by all accounts watched gleefully as the Ankora Empire disintegrated on her doorstep over the seventy long years of her reign. “Let them rebuild with their own hands,” she is said to have responded to repeated requests to end her blockade of the Zanji Sea.
Zanzamin is known as the stopper that put the genie of international slave trade back in the bottle, until the discovery of the New World opened it in the opposite direction, making blockading impossible. Nevertheless, Zanzamin vehemently opposed the Calixtus slave trade, engaging in frequent acts of piracy with the blessing of its constitutional monarchy. They continue to offer citizenship to all ex-slaves and their descendants via an amendment which has survived eight hundred years of revisions. It is known as Fadi’s Law.
Farsia remains a bitter rival, lying in wait for any opportunity to claim the island chain and the ocean around it. Trade agreements and niceties are meticulously maintained otherwise, because Farsia would like very much not to have all its shipping lanes choked off just south of Priyat.
The Aztecas and Iroquois (The Fake Americas)
This is another alternate history that I can’t really do justice from a Fake French slum. At least I have a better background in American culture and history to draw on as needed.
You can blame my brief correspondence with http://www.native-languages.org and my own inadequacies for the exoticism of the names. It’s not that I wanted to turn a name I could faithfully translate from a non-Indigenous language as ‘Morgenstern’ into ‘Morning-Star,’ it’s that Indigenous societies are not too eager to have their real naming conventions ripped up for fictional characters in an alternate universe, and the language structure is complicated.
Rather than waste their time with more explanations and trying to justify my idea of what an alternate history would do to the language, I’m straight up translating. Tribal names will be based on what people usually like to name themselves across cultures (plants, animals, stars and planets, jobs, places, actions, etc.), with some associations borrowed from mythology. Clan names in Fake North America will include the originals from the real Five Nations (Wolf, Bear, Turtle, Sandpiper, Deer, Beaver, Heron, Eagle, Eel) plus more animals indicating an eastward expansion, such as Coyote Clan from the deserts of the Southeast.
I’m not yet sure whether the Aztlan Union, a separate alliance formed under similar circumstances, developed clans or some other method of organization. Maggie and Sanaam certainly don’t have a clan affiliation, but the Fake Carribean has a disjointed history only partially influenced by the mainland.
The terms ‘Iroquois’ and ‘Aztec’ have been mangled by their different uses, and as a reminder that we’re not dealing with the real-world cultures. These are sweeping alliances spanning from sea to shining sea, making it possible to be, for example, the in-universe equivalent of Cherokee and an Iroquoi — like you can be a Texan and an American. Iroquoise (pronounced with a Frenchified ‘quoise’ like Quebecoise) is an adjective, Iroquoi (‘koi’ like skater boi) is a singular noun. Iroquois (‘kois’) is the plural, and can be used for people or the tribal states as a whole. Azteca is the adjective, Aztec the singular, and Aztecas the plural and the tribal states.
The Conquest of the New World got started early and went sideways fast. A lack of automated magic and metal tools made the natives appear stunted and dim to Anatolian explorers. Tentative alliances between natives and newcomers ended in betrayal by overconfident Anatolians, and relations went sour. Soon after, it became evident that Indigenous tribes had honed their magical talent through centuries of beating the hell out of each other and they had only neglected to learn metallurgy because they didn’t need it.
The threat of hostile invasion caused tribal alliances to crystalize at multiple points of first contact. Local empires either set aside ancient conflicts and dialed back the oppression to unite against their new enemy or were crushed by conflicting pressures and reformed under more favorable terms. After a few hundred years, the would-be colonizers were presented with an entire continent that had more or less gelled and decided it did not have much use for Anatolia.
Apart from the battles, much carnage resulted due to incompatible diseases and immune systems. The urgent need to stop a New World plague that was racing across the Old World, anathema, begat cooperation and the sharing of knowledge. Anathema is still a worldwide threat and seems to evolve much like influenza, but established methods of control and knowledge of gods who can effect a cure keep modern outbreaks sporadic and small.
Unfortunately, the new friendship forged to fight the disease was cemented by a shared interest in a disease of a different kind: slavery. Zanzamin couldn’t lock down the entire Calixtus Ocean, and there were still plenty of warring kingdoms in Ifrana who were willing to capture and sell each other off. Now that their new network of alliances made conquering and enslaving each other a bit more difficult, the Aztecas and Iroquois were eager to import labor. Chattel slavery in particular seemed like a super great idea, and it was quickly institutionalized.
It also quickly blew up in everyone’s faces, but the consequences are still felt and will continue to be felt for a long time.
Anatolian presence in the Aztecas and Iroquois has reached a subdued and contrite equilibrium these days. Iliodario, Elbany and the Vasa Union retain small territories and alliances. Marsellia overplayed their hand here too; they have very little political influence, but the remnants of their empire are located in the Galiban Sea, off the coast of the Aztecas. The breads and sauces are always welcome, leaving the Marselline Quarter a popular tourist destination and the Marselline Laundry a popular restaurant.
The Iroquoise League of Vinlandia (Fake North America)
This is a loose association of states and territories that takes up much of the northern landmass and has given its name to the entire continent — often including the AU, which annoys the Aztecas to no end. The first recorded contact with the New World was made in what is now called the Independent Arctic Alliance, by explorers from what is now called Snaeland, a part of the Vasa Union. The tribal societies living on the Northwest mainland at the time of the ‘discovery’ were dubbed ‘Iroquois’ in Anglais, likely as an epithet for their perceived savageness. The original tribal alliance of five expanded from there.
The practice of adoption (often via invasion and kidnapping) provided a method for accepting Anatolian ex-patriots after their failed attempt at colonization, as well as freed slaves later on. Citizenship in the ILV is still clan-based, requiring acceptance as a child or spouse from a family already in the clan, and minimal paperwork for the Elders — which is often not completed unless a passport is required. Elders rarely deny an adoption request from a credible genealogy. A ceremonial kidnapping may still be performed, followed by cake. Most Iroquoise ex-pats have dual citizenship, preferring not to divorce their families.
The IAA and Regina Vinlandia consider themselves independent territories, sharing allegiance with the Vasa Union and Elbany respectively. The Southern half of the continent is formed of states considering themselves independent from the ILV, the AU, and from each other, but with alliances that count them as members of both the ILV and AU.
‘Independence’ is very popular in the ILV, maintained by legal gymnastics and convoluted definitions. Standardizing laws and government across the states and territories is an uphill battle. A bloody War Between the States occurred after the slavery boom went bust, with hundreds of factions and thousands of fronts. A deep-rooted nostalgia for the simplicity of plantation days remains over a century later, and some states have codified race-based segregation or caste systems.
The ILV is rife with magically-modified deer and corn, which proliferated after the prehistoric extinction of most other ungulate and grain species. None of it can be exported to Anatolia, including the clean-burning high-octane ethanol. This hobbles the export of Iroquoise cars and machinery too.
Miramar is the movie capital of the world, located on the east coast in the independent state of Caracola, off the Nopal Bay.
The Aztlan Union (Fake Central and South America)
This is a loose association of states and territories that takes up much of the central and southern landmass, but which is not affiliated with the ILV — except for a few states in the north. A little confusion from foreigners is understandable, but there is no surer way to piss off an Aztec than to call them an Iroquoi. The AU began with an alliance of seven tribes, not five. The original alliance also included Iliodarian conquistadors, who turned on them like rattlesnakes after toppling the tyrannical Mexica Empire. The Aztecas pragmatically allied with the deposed Mexica in response, and the Reconquista began with sneaking into the capital city of Nochlitetlan to slaughter the invaders as they slept.
After many bloody battles, the conquistadors restyled themselves as the friendly allies with cool tech that the first seven tribes thought they were. They created further alliances of small, oppressed tribes to the south and negotiated for privileges on their behalf with the expanding Azteca Empire, asking only for a share of local resources in return. Slowly, the nature of the conflict devolved into more of a bidding war, with each side offering its own version of fair taxes, irrigation, and paved roads.
Much of the original structure of the Mexica Empire remains, modified for eight tribes at the top instead of one, and minus the forced conscription and human sacrifice. Slavery was dealt with in the AU by a simple edict from the Council of Elders, essentially telling everyone to knock it off. Tribes at the bottom of the hierarchy are still vulnerable to exploitation, and the ILV frequently meddles in local politics — often in an attempt to steal or sabotage the patented produce strains which are a leading export.
Magical modification was more popular in the AU and has done more damage (the finger of land connecting the North and South Aztecas has been erased and rebuilt six times that we know of) but their livestock and produce are indestructible — save for a tendency to self-destruct if exported without permission. Their Monta-Llamas in particular are docile, strong, and give beautiful wool. The preference for burros in the Southeastern ILV is based solely on the fact that all Monta-Llamas are sterile if not unlocked by a product code from Quechaworx. Even Monta-Llama wool is illegal in Anatolia, despite tearful protests from the fashion designers. Most Azteca cattle and some produce are able to be exported as Heritage Species, being quite popular worldwide. Azteca cuisine, when created without local ingredients, is never quite as good.
The Galiban (The Fake Carribean)
The Galiban Islands owe their mix of Ifran, Azteca and Iroquoise culture to the Calixtus slave trade, and Marsellia and Iliodario’s participation in it. Traders quickly seeded the islands and began to develop a plantation economy, before bailing out to deal with slave revolts on the mainland, allowing unique cultures to knit together or perish with little interference and some abandoned technology.
The islanders consider their society to be built from pieces that were thrown over the side of a boat by people who meant to come back for them, and then didn’t — an involuntary dislocation, but one that came with a welcome distance from potential oppressors. Native explorers and exiles from the Aztecas and Iroquois were the first to wash up, and the most kindly-regarded. They only destroyed a few ecosystems with magic. All subsequent ‘explorers,’ including colonizers and slave traders, found human occupants to kill and exploit. Most survivors from the first inhabitants accepted the abandoned remnants of colonial incursion, including the people, and blended their small populations seamlessly. A few bloody fights resulted in scattered island populations that are all Ifran or all Azteca in origin, but their neighbors offered safe harbors for refugees. There were also plenty of uninhabited (some uninhabitable) areas for the more adventurous/desperate to experiment with.
“Thanks, boss,” is a common sarcastic shorthand for the position the island peoples found themselves in, and its continual repercussions. Nobody asked for the oppression, the plantations or the slaves — least of all the slaves themselves — but new land, new tech, and new immigrants can give the economy a hell of a boost once the oppressors GTFO. Thanks, boss.
The recovery from the boss’s interference has been going on for 100 to 200 years, depending on the island, hampered by frequent hurricanes, hurricane-level magic storms, and alterations to the environment that did not/do not go according to plan.
When people in Marsellia and Iliodario say “The South Sea/s” they mean Iliodario’s southern coast, the northwest Azteca coast and the Galiban Islands. The Magnus Islands, although much more southern, are considered savage and unfriendly, as is the Magnus Ocean in general and the Calixtus past Moro and Brazaland’s latitude. (Elbany and Gundaland were the power players in colonization attempts there.) The Galiban Islands are still quite primitive, but relatively more local and tamer. The San Rosille Natural History Museum wouldn’t dare steal and display their culture, they would buy it and then complain about the shipping costs.
San Matteo (A Fake Carribean island)
Otherwise known as ‘Saint Matt’s.’ Marsellia only has sovereignty over half of it, a bit like Haiti/Domincan Republic, but smaller and without any messy revolution. Half of the island wanted to be nominally independent, the other half didn’t mind being a colony if they got a fair deal, and — exhausted and battered from centuries of failed attempts at colonization worldwide — Marsellia said, “Okay.” A neighboring island, Santa Clementina (‘Miss Tina’s’), is larger and also Marselline territory. Between the two of them and Marsellia itself, they comprise the entirety of the Marselline Empire.
The Marselline Consulate on San Matteo is also a tiki bar, catering to tourists who like sticky drinks and don’t much care about differentiating between ‘primitive’ cultures. If you need to see some pineapples and girls in grass skirts, Saint Matt’s will accommodate. Life there is much slower, simpler, and poorer, but nobody seems to mind. Their current association with Marsellia is essentially a trade agreement, with nominal governance that nobody really cares about. San Matteo is ideally located as a fuel stop, Santa Clementina somewhat less so, but both offer spices, cane sugar, and plausibility to Marsellia’s insistence that it is so an empire.
Suidas and the Magnus Islands (Fake Australia and the Pacific Islands)
Suidas was first discovered by the Magnus Islanders, a diverse group of people who made a habit of exploration, experimentation, and often total ecological destruction. Island environments do not have a lot of tolerance for magical tinkering and are subject to catastrophic collapse — but there’s always a new one somewhere. It is said that the daughter of the volcano, Kaikamahine a ke Ahi, taught the islanders the secret of raising land out of the ocean. She was apparently a little vague on how to maintain it, but maybe she didn’t care. Suidas’s incredible size offered a much more resilient canvas, and there is evidence it was connected to nearby islands to make it even larger. Exploration and creation of new islands continued, but the people left on Suidas prospered, grew, and reached a tentative equilibrium with their environment.
Then the Elbans showed up and discovered it again.
The resultant cultural slapfight is ongoing and destructive, but not as bad as it used to be. Most of the extinct species have been restored, give or take the marsupial predators, which keep going extinct again for unknown reasons. The Elban colonists’ descendents have apologized for the concentration camps and the slavery, and the Indigenous people have apologized for the rabbit bombs, which they still insist were an accidental result of population control and not on purpose. Not even the one that blew up Parliament.
Parakeets from Suidas, also known as budgies, are popular pets. There is a feral population of them in Ansalem, where they are treated much like pigeons by the locals and beloved by the tourists. Calliope’s sister Thalia is continuing her archeological work in Suidas — she cannot return to Marsellia lest she be extradited to Prokovia for theft of a solid gold baby, which had great cultural significance and belonged in a museum.