New Readers

(If you’re already familiar with the story and ready to start creating content, go here.)

Hello, New Reader!

For whatever reason, you’ve come across a web serial with an open-source universe, Tin Soldier. What the heck is that? Let me explain. No. We’re working with over 2000 pages of just web serial content alone. Ain’t nobody got time for that. Let me sum up: I’m writing a story. I’ve built a universe. You’re invited to play in it.

This is a quick introduction to the story to help you decide if you want to invest your time and where you want to go from here, plus some basic notes on content and the site. You may return to the Home page and start reading from there or pick it up from the Archives by Plot whenever you feel ready. Mobile users, remember to pop open the menu for ease of navigation.

If you like impossible machines, magic, interpersonal drama and absurdity, you’re going to love this place. I hope you decide to stay with us awhile!

The Story

This is a long, serialized work about steampunk wizards in substandard housing, and their family and friends. It’s a situation dramedy — meaning things happen, they react, and the results may be sad, funny, scary or some combination thereof.

Because it is very long and complicated, there are lots of ways you might like to start reading and tools to help you, including various summaries and introductions to the cast. For help navigating all this stuff, keep reading!

My Schedule

I don’t have one anymore. I may never have one again, but we’ll have to wait and see. Since I have finished writing Years 1-3, I’m focusing on filling in all my illustrations and collecting installments as books. New content will mostly be art and extras for a while. I will update my installments on the site as I finish them, and post the art and extras to my Pillowfort and DeviantArt accounts. Content will probably come in large chunks, whenever I feel like taking the time to format and upload it. I hope to work through all 229 installments in about a year, but this is probably unrealistic.

How to Read

The main event is a web serial, which means the installments (otherwise known as ‘blog posts’) are serialized with plot arcs that may last from one installment to over a dozen. Each post is about ten pages long. I was aiming for 4500 words up until Year 3, and now I’ve given up and admitted most will probably be 5000 or over. There are 229 installments in Years 1-3, with some half-length and some doubles. By rough estimate, I’m about 4000 words short of all original 7 Harry Potter books in length, and probably past them. This is just the beginning! I may lap that word count some time after I pick up the story in Year 13. (On your left, Ms. Rowling!)

For best results you should read from the beginning. (You may do that on the website, at Pillowfort or at DeviantArt.) You’ll know who everyone is, they’ll be introduced in a coherent way, and you’ll learn what happens to them in the order I intended, with no spoilers. But because there’s so much of it, and because I’m inviting you to create content and interact, you may not have the patience to read everything. That’s okay! My website has resources and there are ways for you to skip around. You will probably get spoiled and confused doing it, but you are the master of your destiny and it’s your call.

Option 1: Pick an Entrance and Go!

We have a lot of doors here. It’s just Hyacinth can never keep the hinges on them. I will post installments to social media as I edit and illustrate them, but all of Tin Soldier (barring a few minor corrections) is available on the site right now for intrepid binge readers.

The first four installments, the Pilot, have the main characters and setting introduced and described, so you might want to read through that somewhere before you go running off anywhere else. If you want to start there you can use the links above, or the obvious link on the Home page, and then navigate forward from the links at the bottom of each installment. However, the story has something of a downer beginning with a little boy injured and sick. If that is not your cup of tea you might want to pick it up from somewhere after he gets better, then turn around and go back to see why he’s got a weird eye and talks to invisible people.

For my new social media venture, I will be publishing a side story which takes place after Year 3. It introduces the cast and the setting in a fun, narrative way and shows you where they’re headed. You will find some spoilers and meet characters that aren’t there at the beginning, but there’s still plenty of fun to be had in seeing how they get where they’re going. Given that Years 1-3 are all available now, you’ll probably get spoiled in one way or another anyway, even if you are reading obediently from beginning to end.

The Archives by Plot page has installments listed by plot arc and number. This will help you pick up any given storyline from the beginning and find your place if you get lost. I recommend bookmarking the installment where you left off, but if you write down the number or the title on a sticky note, you’ll be able to ctrl+F and find it at the Archives by Plot, because everything is on one page.

Any archives on social media will be limited by how that host archives its content — it will probably be harder to navigate DeviantArt and Pillowfort, but I will do my best to make that easier for you in any way I can.

Year Two begins with The Artist and has some short character descriptions and recap, so you may begin reading from there and take the past as prologue. FISH is also intended as an entrance, as that is the installment I had up when I began trying to advertise. (It turns out I’m terrible at advertising. Furthermore, you will note people storming a Capitol in FISH. I’m just letting you know I wrote that in 2019. Looking back after January 2021, you will find certain eerie similarities and some real big differences.)

The Our Story So Far page is meant to give you the information you need to begin the most recent plot arc right now. It has a basic summary and bullet points with a rapid fire recap of the relevant circumstances. Given that I am in the middle of one big recap, that section may be less useful than you’d like. The page also lists Sanaam’s summaries — every time he gets home he needs an update of what happened. These resources will be missing large chunks of information and may read more like condensed soup than a story, but I can’t do fast and delicious at the same time.

Not a Good Option: The Default WordPress Archive

If you end up in the automatic archive which WordPress provides, you’ll find the posts arranged somewhat haphazardly and divided into pages — highest page number means earliest posts, and each individual installment is numbered for your convenience. This works okay if you need something recent and you remember about where it is, or if you’re filtering by the tags to follow a character. If you try to navigate from there, you’ll only have bits and pieces to help you decide where to start, and you will have to guess what page you want. Most readers seem to find this useless and frustrating, but it is an option.

Option 2: eBooks…?

I have been trying to get you eBook versions of Tin Soldier for a long time. Editing, formatting and filling in the art has proved difficult. I have a store at the site, but the versions in it are outdated, with no illustrations and plenty of errors. I don’t like to charge money for broken things, even if it is a very small amount of money.

I will collect my installments into volumes as I edit and illustrate them. They will be available in the store. Patrons will get these volumes for free. Even after this much editing, they are still liable to have errors, and it will be difficult for me to find these errors and fix them in eBook format. The best version of Tin Soldier will always be at the site, for which I apologize.

Option 3: Jump Around!

Okay, maybe you don’t want me to tell you where to start, or you’ve been away and you just need a refresher. Or maybe you’re creating content and need a specific reference. (See the New Creators page for more detail about that.) I have pages to help you if you’re on random!

The Characters page, the Setting page and the Mechanics page have quick overviews of the characters, the world, and how the world works, respectively, with links to more detailed information. These can also be found at the Home page and in the sidebar. (Don’t forget, if you’re on mobile, you’ll need to click to see the sidebar.) Likewise there is a Glossary, because these characters are not quite speaking English and some things exist in their world that we do not have in ours. Our Story So Far allows easy access to my automated summary feature, otherwise known as Maggie’s absent father. The Gazetteer is a list of in-story places, for when you have no idea where you are in the physical world. All of these helpful extras contain unmarked spoilers, although I will try to keep the quick reference sections as clean as possible. If you’re reading this way, you’re going to get spoiled and confused. You know that.

On my site, I am using the tag feature to keep track of which characters are in focus for each installment. I do not recommend you use the tags to read the story, that’s not what they’re for. They are helpful if you need to see a specific character or if you want to avoid one you hate.

Content Disclaimer

Most content here will be rated approximately PG-13, trying to keep it to one f-you! every fifty pages or so and occasional in-character use of slurs. In the name of artistic integrity, I reserve the right to a cluster f-bomb in appropriate situations. Look, if you’ve hit 13, you know the word. Sex and nudity exist (you also know that!) but will be obliquely referred to. There will be violence, of course. The MPAA could give less than two craps about violence when they are rating things, but god forbid we should see so much as a female nipple. My unsolicited derision of censorship aside, one of the people in the house is a crossdresser who sings in a drag club, so there will be all kinds of queer folks making appearances. Adjust your moral outrage accordingly.

We also have adult content. I have hoisted the flag for 18+ in multiple places for this reason, and because of the nudity and implied sex in the main story. You may read and create if you’re 13 or older, but you will need to be 18 or older or willing to lie to me to get at the adult stuff and to sponsor me at the Patreon. My adult-oriented extra(s) are free for Patrons (unless Patreon finds them and disapproves), and available in the store. As of this writing, my store does not work because I’ve moved to Canada and I need a new PayPal and bank account. I will eventually fix that, but for right now, if you want the adult extra — there are three — you need to sponsor me and DL the PDFs.

The Pain Stars Index

I think trigger warnings give readers a false sense of security. Trauma is complicated and I don’t know what’s going to hurt you. Some really tame stuff that nobody could expect an author to label has set me off in the past, and I know I need to take responsibility for myself.

My warning system is simplified and based on how much pain the characters are feeling as a group. Fictional content will be rated from PSI-1 to PSI-5, with 5 being the worst possible pain. See here for a more detailed explanation.

Liner Notes

At the end of some blog posts, you will see something that looks like this:

New Reader

Hello, I got stories to tell you
Though I’m crazy, I got places to show you
So give me just one more glance, one real chance
And I will make of you another new reader
Not bad. You got more than you paid for
But I’m sorry. It’s still less than I promised
Please give me just one more glance, one real chance
One more hand to hold
I’ve spent so much time, though I may just be foolish
Hoping for a sign, though hope may just be foolish
What do you need from me? What do you need to see, to hang out
And be a new reader?
So then, this is all that I have now
Until next time, then I’ll have some more story
Please give me just one good look, (and buy the book!)
And I will make of you, maybe I’ll make of you another new reader
I’ve spent so much time, though I may just be foolish
Hoping for a sign, though hope may just be foolish
What do you need from me? What do you need to see, to hang out?
Hello, I got stories to tell you, ooh, another new reader
Hello, I got places to show you, ooh, another new reader
I’ve spent so much time, but am I foolish?
Waiting for a sign, one real sign
I’ve spent so much time, though I may just be foolish
God I need a sign, though hope may just be foolish

Click it for music videos, rewritten lyrics, and miscellaneous asides from me, the author.

Typo Disclaimer

I am pretty much a one-person operation and I do not have a real editor. It’s just me and spellcheck and grammarcheck. I’m also operating with a developmental disorder which means in part that I often don’t see when I’ve typed the wrong word, doubled a word, missed a word, or transposed the letters.

Typos that look like words are my moral enema! Without a computer my spelling is total shit. What you’ll read here is a vast improvement. But even with multiple re-reads and edits, it won’t be perfect. Some mistakes have escaped me for years, only to be caught by an update of my word processor’s grammar function. I’ve caught myself leaving out entire sentences in the past, although I don’t think any of those errors were published. I don’t think.

I have an error report form on my Contact page. If you think you’ve found something, check the Glossary first, because I am using some weird words and things I made up. Then please give me a heads up via the form. I can’t promise you I’ll get to it right away, but I will eventually make a correction in all my media in which it appears. Weird words and phrasing and intentional errors that serve a narrative purpose will not be corrected, you’ll have to trust my judgment.

Ongoing Repairs

Because of the typos, I am never going to be done correcting errors. If you’ve paid money for something and want it corrected, use the form and check for new versions, which you should be able to DL free forever. (I know I broke my store, but I will eventually get it working again, or something like it.)

I am slowly completing my missing art and redraws. Some redraws are necessary, because in becoming publication-legal I’ve had to cut out all the song lyrics. I use lyrics in many of my backgrounds, a few of them may still be up in their unaltered state (sorry, music industry!), and you can’t do that or the music industry will eat you. Instead of being a brave pirate, I’ve decided to cut everything down to the titles or pen plot-relevant parodies instead.

Many redraws I’m doing are not technically necessary, but I’m ashamed of how I drew before I got my tablet and stylus. I am cheating now and my art looks much different, although you can still recognize the characters. Anyway, fixing the art is going to take at least a year, probably longer. I’m going to redraw just about everything up to Year 3, and even then some pictures will look better than others. I’m learning how to give you the best illustrations I can, with varying resources and interfaces. My output is constantly evolving.

Site Outages

Known site outages will be logged at the Patreon, Pillowfort and DeviantArt. Bookmark one of these off-site locations even if you’re reading on the site. If the site is broken, I won’t be able to tell you that on the site itself. To report an unlisted outage, email tinsoldier.space@gmail.com directly and put OUTAGE in the topic — that’s where I get all my site mail. I do not know what I’m doing and I often install a plugin that screws something up, or everything up. Jetpack and I are not friends. Tech support and I are.

Says here you have ‘Network Connectivity Issues.’

Sometimes, some people get an error message saying my site is loading too slow or it timed out. While away from home, I finally managed to encounter this problem myself and I informed tech support. The site was not down and it was nothing to do with the server or how slow the site is, so if you encounter this error it must be something to do with your individual network or system. HostGator can’t replicate this issue themselves, so that’s about all they can tell me. Check firewalls, security, plugins, and if nothing else use some of your phone data and see if you can load it that way. I mean, if you care enough to keep trying.

There are too many variables here and I can’t help you debug whatever it is. Hopefully, if this happens to me in the future, I’ll be able to debug myself. Otherwise you’ll be getting your content from the nearest Tim Horton’s during normal business hours.

Fast Changes

I’m gearing up to skip over ten years in-story. This means I’ll be going like a bat out of hell on the illustrations, editing, and other things that need fixing. I will also be taking whatever time I can to work on new character designs, learning my new art software, and preparing more story. I’ve done my best to pare down the site so it will operate cheaply, easily and reliably during this time. It won’t of course, but I’ve done my best. 

There will not be much new serial content for quite some time, a year or more. I’ve got too much other stuff to do. I am NOT starting Year 13 until I’ve filled in all the missing art, because I will NEVER get back to it if I do. If you still want to support me through a long restless nap, you can. I will do my best to keep supporting charities, but due to the immigration my finances are iffy. I can’t open a Canadian bank account yet and I have little idea whether I’m giving USD or CAD. It’s my intention to switch to CAD for convenience once I have that account, but I have no idea when that’ll be.

If I should come out of this desperate attempt to find an audience without enough supporters to turn a profit, I’ll decouple my charity-giving from Tin Soldier altogether and stop bothering with the records. Tax-wise, it’s easier to have a hobby than a business, so if that’s what the future brings, I’ll be making more changes.

Talk to Me!

I am experimenting with how best to provide spaces for readers to engage, because I am not making money and it’s the positive attention that keeps me going. An onsite forum plugin proved too daunting for me and other users, so I contented myself with an improved comment plugin. As of April 8, 2022, that plugin has broken, but it still kinda works and I’m hoping for an update that fixes it. Pillowfort and DeviantArt both have their own built-in ways to comment and engage, but my ability to respond will be based on how much engagement I get, and how much stress I’m dealing with at any given time. You may also submit content via the Contact page, or directly to the site email: tinsoldier.space@gmail.com.

I have been doing this for five years and I am not getting much engagement. I’m not used to social interaction, and I’m bad at it. I don’t check my mail often. If I don’t get back to you, it’s either because I haven’t seen it yet, or I’m having some kind of social anxiety meltdown. Please be patient with me.

The Creative Commons License

All Tin Soldier content is under a blanket Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 4.0 International License (subject to updating with similar features) — with the additional requirement that at least 50% of your profits go to charity. Simply subtract your operating costs and divide what’s left with a charity. Qualifying charities are not operating for profit and have not been flagged by the SPLC as hate groups. Visit the New Creators page for more specifics, and to avoid being cursed by forces beyond our control.

Yes, because I am giving this content away and I care about it, all Tin Soldier content is also under a curse. I know I can’t hold you to these conditions legally, so I’m putting a whammy on you in the feeble hope that this will cause you to police yourselves.

The Curse

Break any of the rules or violate what may fairly be called human decency, and misfortune will come on swift wings and nest in your home. Unless it is a hip misfortune, then it will probably use an Uber or another rideshare application. Your creations will turn to dust in your hands. You will die in obscurity, but not before everything you care about is pried away from you. Karma will take a crap on your head. The Furies will hork up pellets in your shoes. You will be vulnerable to demons, mysterious rashes, and any and all coronaviruses — including the crummy beer, the common cold, and the 2019 franchise with all its sequels. Every bad thing that happens to you can be attributed to the fact that you screwed around with the infinite, and there will be no absolution — because I do not control these forces, I just point them in your direction and they do whatever they want.

You will also be banned from the site.

Your belief is not required for a curse to work.

The Basic Rules

Be Excellent to Each Other. Be Excellent to Our Universe.

The Six Commandments

• Read. We are text-based. Listening and understanding means reading carefully and asking for clarification when needed.
• Respect. Be kind and understanding and act in ways deserving of kindness and understanding.
• Repurpose. Sharing is caring. We ❤ Creative Commons, Fair Use and the Public Domain. When you use another person’s content, give credit and add value.
• Create. If you’re enjoying what’s here, please give something back. Even if it’s just a comment about how neat a thing is. See also: the New Creators page.
• Donate. Support Tin Soldier and the Charity of the Month here, or pick a cause of your own.
• Engage. Give attention to get attention.

Everybody Please Throw Money!

Expanding on the ‘Donate’ Commandment above, so far I am paying money to provide you with content. The few things I have to sell are cheap and I don’t have many Patrons. It’s not enough to cover the cost of maintaining the site, let alone any paid advertising. If I ever get popular enough that I need to upgrade my hosting, it’ll cost even more.

I don’t technically qualify for giving profits to charity, because I don’t have profits yet. But I’m giving $50 a month to my local food bank and various others. Right now, my ability to give is dependent on my ability to afford it, and $50 is what I can do. If you want me to give more and to help make sure I don’t have to step down to giving less, please consider giving me something YOU can afford. If your charity has an online presence, I will feature you for a month in exchange for a link on your site and I will give you not less than $50. Please contact me. The details of my finances and charities are at the Support page, and I’ll let you know who’s getting a donation each month.

Remember, it’s okay for you to sell my content, but you must attribute it to me and donate at least 50% of profits to charity. Nobody who sells Tin Soldier stuff needs to profit-share with me, just with a charity of some kind.

Please consider joining the Patreon. When I’ve straightened out my bank account, you will also be able to leave me a tip.